Relay for Life

WE ARE ALIVE!!!

We have all been battling the flu since Thursday.  I swear it was hit or miss whether we would all survive, but we all made it.  Except poor hubby, he's still feeling the effects.

I just wanted to post and say I did it.  I signed up for the Relay for Life!!!

Check out our Team - The Hula Hunnies.  We will be doing fun activities to raise funds for the Canadian Cancer Society.  

Cancer has affected both Mike and my families.  I have lost my grandfather and my Uncle Roger, who at 34 succumbed to cancer.  Mike lost his father 20 years ago this April, just after his 68th birthday.  We have a Tribute to him on our website. 

I am very excited to be doing this relay, for myself, and for Kiera.  I want to make sure that I am around to watch her grow up.

Working Out is Fun - Right?

As I said in my goals review post, I haven't really been accomplishing this goal.  I did manage to work out with Amanda last week on Wednesday.  I am sure that Jillian Michaels is a very nice person; however, I don't like the video version of her.  Give me the flamboyant Richard Simmons anyday.

The fitness guru's say to find something you enjoy, that way you will stick with it.  I am not coordinated.  I do not like exercise.  There, I said it.  I'd much rather be sitting with a book, or on my computer blogging, rather than dripping sweat and feeling the jiggly parts move more than I am.

I know that I need to exercise, that I need to lose weight, and live a more healthy lifestyle.  I just wish chocolate was an entire food group and that typing on the keyboard could reduce my underarm wave.  Alas, it is not so, so I continue looking for that one exercise that will make me jump for joy, and say I can do this. 

Anyone have any suggestions?

Until I find THE ONE, I will continue to struggle with exercising.  Sometimes I will win and sometimes I will lose.  I am just hoping that the wins will outnumber the losses.

My Goals Review

As we come to the end of the month, it is time to review what I have accomplished towards my goals.

Leisure Time

I will get my motorcycle license by July 1, 2010.

* I have registered for a course which begins on March 25th.  I do my road test on April 21st.

I will read 10 books per year, 2 of which must be nonfiction.

* I haven't done anything towards this goal. :(

Community Involvement

I will volunteer by March 31st, 2010.

* Michael and I met with Volunteer Kamloops, and I have a list of organizations.  I have narrowed it down to Family Tree Drop-in Centre working with children 6 years and under or the Heart and Stroke Foundation doing office work.  Maybe I will try and find time to do both.  Especially I can take Kiera to the Family Tree Drop-in Centre.

Personal Growth

I will reconnect with my friends by the end of the year.

* I had lunch with Kerri yesterday.  It was nice to catch up with her.  I am also working on a gathering for March.

I will post to my blog 3 times per week.

* I have been posting every second day. :)

Health and Fitness

I will work out for 30 minutes, 3 times per week.

* Sad to say that I have not been keeping up with this one.  Bad me.  I have modified this to 3 days a week.  I have decided to make this a little more specific.  I want to participate in the Relay for Life on June 12th.  Now I just have to find a team.

Well there is the update on my goals.  This has been a busy week.  Mike's job interview went well and he is job shadowing for a couple of days next week.  I am so happy for him because he really likes the company and is interested in the type of work they do.  I think he will fit in well and I am confident he will get the job.

Mike is currently working on the laundry room again.  I will update you on this process.  It must be going ok because the swearing has been minimal.

Little miss is sick.  She started vomitting last night.  She hasn't yet today, thank goodness, and she has been sleeping a lot today.  My heart is breaking for her.  It is the worse feeling in the world to know that your child is not feeling well or in pain, and you can't do anything to fix it.

Happy Poop Day

I never thought that one day I would become excited about poop, nevermind talking about how excited I am about poop.  However, here we are and I just have to share my excitement.

Our poor baby girl has been constipated off and on since she was 3 months old.  However, since the introduction of solid foods, it has been worse.  This last bout lasted over a week and was causing her pain.  Daddy talked to the Pharmesist, and he recommended 2 products.  The first is called "Colace" which is a stool softener.  The other is a suppository.  Since I didn't relish the thought of "administering" the suppository, we started with the Colace. 

Unfortunately, the stool softener didn't work.  On Monday we took her to the doctor, who perscribed Lactulose and told us to use the suppositories.  Obviously, this is what I wanted to avoid but if it will help little miss feel better, then I would just suck it up.  Suprisingly it didn't bother the little girl. 

What ever is in those suppositories works like a charm.  Yesterday, she had 2 normal baby poops. 

It was a very Happy Poop Day!

I Still Hate Tomatoes

I was an extremely pick eater as a child.  I didn't like eggs, tomatoes, peppers, onions, yogurt, fish, sour cream, well you get the picture.  I wanted to make sure I didn't pass my picky eating habits on to baby girl.  While pregnant, and even while breast feeding, I made sure to eat a variety of foods, including sushi (no raw fish though), vietnamese, thai, italian, greek, chinese as well as our usual meals.

Last September, Grandma Helen was moving into a new place, and leaving all her fruit trees.  We raided all the trees one last time, and came home with boxes of pears, apples, plums and raspberries.  We also picked up some peaches. 

I had the brillant idea to can all the fruit.  Since I don't know anything about canning, Grandma Laura ended up doing most of it.  I did can the raspberries all by my self, and I am quite proud of that.  In the end, we canned about 60 jars of fruit and sauces.

Having decided I was going to make all of Kiera's baby food, I was excited to get her on solid foods.  We started with rice cereals, then other grains cereals.  At 6 months, we moved into the vegetables, and most recently have been adding fruit.  As baby girl is trying new foods, I can see her preferences emerging.

Of course, first thing she does is check the ingredients and nutrional information to ensure that what she is eating is healthy.

Kiera's Likes

Butternut Squash

Carrots

Green Beans

Peas

Corn

Wax Beans

Barley Cereal

Baby Mum Mum's (all flavours)

Kiera's Dislikes

Bananas

Prunes

Apple Sauce

Sweet Potatoes

Yams

Rice Cereal

Oat Cereal

Mom's Cooking (she doesn't like the vegetables I pureed then froze)

I love that fact that she is such a vegetable fan.  I know if I keep trying to feed her the foods she dislikes, she may eventually like them.  I know that I like many things now that I didn't when I was younger.  Except Tomatoes. 

I still hate tomatoes.

God Bless Aunties

This weekend, baby girl has been surrounded by her aunties.  Watching them play with her made me think about the special bond an aunt has with their niece or nephew.  It is something quite different but just as special as a parents bond.

What is an Auntie?  While searching the net for an answer, I found this paragraph which I feel sums it up perfectly.

"The underlying message of an Auntie is love and acceptance. As an Auntie, I am able to share wisdom and insight without the 'shoulds and should nots' parents like to enforce. There is no shame, blame and criticism.  Aunties can listen without judgment, share without restrictions and love unconditionally."

(http://www.trcb.com/home-and-family/home-and-family/what-is-an-auntie-is-it-different-than-aunt-8582.htm)

Aunties are a role model, mentor and guide. 

They provide an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. 

They are a secret keeper when you cannot talk to your parents. 

They are your biggest fan, and you personal cheering section.

They are a safe haven from the world and from "unreasonable" parents.

Aunties are love.

 

Kiera is blessed to have many aunties in her life.  She will always feel loved and protected because of them.  I am grateful for them, and the relationship they will have with her.

 

 

Auntie Cheryl

Auntie Mel

Auntie Nina

Auntie Carla

Unfortunately, I do not have pictures of all her aunties, but I thank all of them.

The Onesie

By reading the title, you might assume that I am writing about baby girl.  I wish it were so.

Here is the story.  On Wednesday, Georgina and I decided to go spend some money.  Well, it was originally for her to go spend some money, and me to help.  We made the trek up to Addition Elle to find Georgina some clothes.  As we pulled up, Georgina got excited - there were Red "50% Off Sale" signs posted in the windows.  Woohoo, we can buy more.

We got out of the truck, went into the store, and started our spree.  We picked out a number of tops and a pair of jeans for Georgina to try.  While she was trying them on, I decided to check out the sale racks.  I pulled out tops left and right, and before you know it, I am in the changing room next to her.  I found 4 tops I really liked.  Unfortunately, two of the tops highlighted my muffin top nicely.  In case you don't know what a muffin top is, it is the roll that forms above your jeans when you are wearing pants that are a little tight in the waist.  Mine is permanent and it's actually more of a loaf of bread.

I digress.  I was going to put them back when I noticed these spandex bodysuit things on sale.  Hmmm, I thought.  That looks like it holds things in.  I grabbed 2 of them, and the tops I wanted.

Today I chose to wear one of the tops that required the bodysuit.  I pulled it out of the bag, and took a closer look at it.  To my surprise, there are snaps at the bottom.  I should have thought about how I was going to get this thing on before I bought it, but I was so mesmerized by the idea of holding the muffin in.

(This is a spanx, not the same but similar)

What the heck, I thought, so I put it on.  I pulled it over my head and tried to pull it down.  Remember, it is design to be tight since it has to hide the rolls.  I wiggled and dance it down into place. 

Next issue, you almost had to be a contortionist to get the snaps done up.  I twist to pull then back flap down, at the same time, I have to reach through my legs to reach it.  After fighting with it for 5 minutes, I finally got the flaps close together.  Now, remember why I am wearing this - I can't see my feet.  So, needless to say, I can't see the snaps.  Now what?  With some pulling and by feel, I did eventually manage to get them done.

Thats when I realized that the top part doesn't offer a lot of support, and the girls are a little squished.  There was no way I was taking the sucker off now.  At least I knew it would really hold the jiggles in.

I have worn it all day now, and it isn't to bad (other than the trips to the ladies room).  I would never have guessed that at 35 years old, I would be wearing a onesie.

Miss Kiera's Day

Little did Miss Kiera know when she woke up this morning, that she would have such a busy day.  Shortly after getting up, she had a meeting with her agents (mommy and daddy).  After which, she checked her email on her Fisher Price Laptop, and went to her voice lesson.  We sang "The Grandfather Clock" and "What do we do with a tiny baby."

In the late morning, she had an interview upstairs with Neeko and Auntie Mel.  Now I cannot confirm what was said in the "interview", but Neeko would bark something and Kiera would giggle and coo in return.  Mommy and Auntie Mel spent most of their time laughing at the exchange.

After a brief beauty nap, and an excellently prepared Soya Cereal with Pear by her personal chef, it was off to meet with her fans.  She climbed into her limo, and had her driver (me) go to Starbucks, where she ran into the paparazzi (Auntie Nina).  Actually, we picked up the paparazzi. 

After her water, she met up with her personal shoppers, who picked out a skirt, a shirt, a pair of pants, a dress and a couple of pairs of shoes.  To relax, she had a cocktail in the limo ride home.

Once home, Miss Kiera checked her email again, then had a gourmet meal of Wax Beans, Sweet Potatoes and Vegetable Rice Cracker.  Which was followed by another cocktail.  Now she is at an evening function at Grandma's house.  Hopefully it will be to bed early for a busy day tomorrow.

Happy News

I got happy news today.  Mike has a job interview next week, and it is in a field he wants to get into.  My fingers are crossed.  It will be nice to have an income other than my EI, and we can save the rest of his severance package.

I love my husband, but I will happy to give him a kiss each morning as he leaves for work.  Since he was working from home before getting laid off, we have both been home for the past 8 months.  It is a true test of our relationship.  Although, having him home has made dealing with Kiera a little easier.  Once he is back to work, we have to look at my job.

I Won!!!!!

I won Sugar Shack Gourmet Hot Chocolate.  Check it out at It's a Bartel Life.  I can't wait to soak in my bath with a mug of yummy hot chocolate!!!

Sugar Shack

The Way She Rolls... or Stacks

Right now, one of Kiera's favourite toys is her stacker.  I don't know if you ever had one, but I remember having one as a child. 

The post is tapered, so the largest ring fits on the bottom, and the smallest ring fits at the top.  Kiera has a new way of playing with it.  First she removes all the rings.

Then she needs to taste each one.

After tasting each ring, we get to her favourite part.  Sucking on the end of the yellow post.

And that is how Kiera rolls, or stacks as the case may be.

Every Day is February 16th

As you may have noticed, all the posts are dated for February 16th, 2010. 

I have moved most of my February posts from The Dillon Blog to here.  I like the ability to customize better than the blogger I have been using.  Take a look at both of them, and let me know which blog you prefer.  Until I decide which one to go with, I will post on both sites.

The Laundry Room

With Kiera being able to get into the crawling position for a second or 2, we decided it's time to close in our laundry room area. Well, at least start it. On Saturday, Mike decided to tackle the easy part of moving the washer and dryer from the side wall to the back wall. He estimated that it would take him about 2 days, and that the washer and dryer will only be out of commission for 1 night.

He took down the drywall on the old wall, removed the plumbing and electrical wiring, and then tore down the rest of the old wall. Sound simple? Apparently it isn’t. Because of leaky pipes, it took him all day, and he had to run out 4 times to pick up supplies.

Sunday he framed up the upper part of the back wall, where the cupboards will go, then he moved the plumbing and dryer venting. Again, more difficult then it sounds. The dryer venting wouldn't cooperate and clamps didn't fit. At least it was only 3 trips to the store.

Today he just had to finish up the electrical work and move the dryer and washer into place. I am sure you have figured out the theme to this story. It took a while to find the right breaker. Then Mike decided to try to electrocute him self, which led to the realization that there was a second breaker to turn off. This one was also elusive.

He got the wiring done, and moved the washer and dryer back into place. The hooked everything up. And that’s when he realized one of the taps now leaked. He pulled the washer out, and ran to the store – for the 3rd time today. However, as of 7:45 pm tonight, I have one load of wash in the washer.

Only 7 more loads to go...

Valentine's Day

I had always believed that Valentine’s Day was a commercially made up holiday as a money grab. Why else does a $10 bouquet of flowers cost $40 on Valentines Day. That is until I met Mike.

The story of meeting Mike is a story of being in the right place in the right time. And always celebrate Georgina’s birthday.

Georgina’s birthday is on January 14th, which in 2004, happened to be on my days off. I was living in New Westminster at the time, but I decided to come to Kamloops to be with her on her birthday. We decided to go to Montana’s with our friends Brian and Kerri to celebrate.

Kerri was going to university at the time where she met Lynn. Since Lynn is from Lillooet, she did not know anyone in Kamloops, so Kerri invited her to dinner with us. Lynn’s husband, Darren, and her kids were in town from Lillooet to visit her, so they also came along.

It was a wonderful dinner although Georgina didn’t wear the Viking Hat. I was very disappointed. We decided to go to the bar afterwards. Unfortunately, Lynn had a sore back, so she and the kids went back to where she was staying. After putting his wife into bed, Darren joined us at the bar where we played some pool and had a couple of drinks.

At some point in the evening, my dating life came up. I am not sure how or why, but I must have mentioned getting stood up on the weekend. Darren was sympathetic to my plight as a single woman. We talked further, and he found out that I lived on the Lower Mainland. You could almost see the light bulb over his head. He tells me that he has a friend in Coquitlam who is single. I thought it was interesting, but didn’t think much else of it. The rest of the night was great, as was the rest of my visit.

The following Wednesday, to my surprise, I get a MSN message from Darren. I didn’t think he would remember or actually get a hold of me. He had gotten my email address from Kerri. He was in town, and he wanted me to come out with him and some friends including Mike to play pool. I almost said no. I had only met Darren once, I didn’t know his friends and I was a single woman. However, something made me say yes.

I joined Darren and friends at the Legion. That’s when I met Mike. I wish I could say it was love at first sight, but it wasn’t. Mike was a great guy though, so we met up a few times over the next 3 weeks, always with friends around.

February 14th, 2004, was our first date alone. Mike invited me to his place for dinner. I was so nervous as I walked up to his door. The first thing I saw when his door opened, besides him, was a number of candles lit and spread around his living room and dining room. The house smelled so nice. He handed me a gorgeous bouquet of flowers, and walked me to the table. The table was nicely set, with a candle in the centre. He served steak, potatoes and vegetables. That’s when I discovered he was a good cook.

After dinner, we sat in the living room and had a chocolate fondue for dessert, and listened to love songs. It was the first chocolate fondue for me and it was wonderful. Nothing better than chocolate to get to a girl's heart. We then watched the Canucks game. Not so romantic, but fun none the less.

Since then, I celebrate Valentine’s Day. I still believe it is a commercial holiday, but it is the perfect day to make sure Mike knows how much I love him. Besides, it gives me two days to celebrate our relationship – our first date and our Wedding Day.

Happy Valentines Day Everyone.

Goals

As promised, here is the update on my revised goals. They are a little more specific, and I have created steps I am going to take to achieve them. The goals are all short term goals. I also created 5 year and 10 year goals.

Leisure Time

I will get my motorcycle license by July 1, 2010.

• I have contacted both training schools in Kamloops for pricing and schedules. I have one, I am just waiting for the other to decide with one I am going to use.

I will read 10 books per year, 2 of which must be nonfiction.

• I am currently reading “The Lost Symbol: by Dan Brown. Once I am done, I will post my opinion on it.

Community Involvement

I will volunteer by March 31st, 2010.

• I want to give back to the community, so I have decided to volunteer. I have contacted Volunteer Kamloops for an application. They review your experience and suggest positions that match up.

Personal Growth

I will reconnect with my friends by the end of the year.

• I am going to host an event once a month beginning in March. I am planning a Murder Mystery Night for the first event. If you are willing to participate, let me know.

I will post to my blog 3 times per week.

• I want to use my blog to keep myself on track with my goals, to keep family and friends up to date, and to learn a little about myself. To be able to do this, I plan to write some posts up in advance, and use them during quiet weeks.

Health and Fitness

I will work out for 30 minutes, 4 times per week.

• Georgina and I did a 30 minute walk on Thursday. I decided to break my ultimate goal of losing 75 pounds into smaller goals to make it more manageable.

I have more goals in areas such as Spiritual Growth, Career, Financial Success and Education, some of which are the longer term goals. I am really excited to be working on these.

O Canada

O Canada!

Our home and native land!

True patriot love in all thy sons command.

With glowing hearts we see thee rise,

The True North strong and free!

From far and wide,

O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

God keep our land glorious and free!

O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

The Olympics start today!!!

Whale vs Mermaid

Recently, in a large city in France, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym.

It said, "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym:

To Whom It May Concern,

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans.) They have an active sex life, get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia . Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex? Just look at them ... where is IT? Therefore, they don't have kids either. Not to mention, who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?
The choice is perfectly clear to me: I want to be a whale.

P..S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and a piece of chocolate with my friends. With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies.So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.

Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, ¨Good grief, look how smart I am!¨

A Beautiful Person

I read a post today by Tina at Little Tots Big Ideas that I thought was very important to pass along. It really puts life in perspective. I am truly blessed. I have a loving husband and a beautiful child. I have a family that I am very close too. I am healthy as are my husband and child. I have a roof over my head and food on my table. I have money to pay my bills and a job to go back to after maternity leave. I am able to afford to take a full year off to be with my baby. I am grateful for all the blessings God has given me.

I have the greatest admiration for the strength Alexa has. She is the person I want to be. In the face of adversity, she is able to stay positive. Here is a link to the post. Tina did a beautiful job writing about Alexa and sharing her story. I hope she inspires you as much as she has inspired me.

Real Mommies Real Challenges

Life Balance

Life has a funny way of interfering with the best laid plans. I had the best intentions today: workout, go to Mother Goose, meet up with Georgina for Coffee and a Walk, then an evening home with my husband. Unfortunately, I missed my workout due to a misunderstanding, I missed Mother Goose because Kiera didn’t go for her nap until just before it started, and I missed coffee when Kiera slept for 3 ½ hours. I did get to spend the evening with Mike though, so all is not lost. It is so easy to allow ourselves to be distracted by life, and forget our goals.

While Kiera was napping, Mike and I sat down to start thinking about our long term life goals. It got me thinking about my goals, both short term and long term. I realized that I need to define my goals more clearly, and set out more specific steps to achieving my goals. I am going to spend the next 2 to 3 days redefining my goals and the path to reaching them. Tune in Sunday, and I will post some of them. Finding a Life Balance if very important to me.

The Starbucks Adventure

Georgina and I went for Starbucks and a walk. Due to the weather, we weren’t able to go for the walk we wanted, but I did get my Grande Cinnamon Dolce Latte - my new favourite. I think it's time to buy Kiera a Blackberry. The original plan was to go out around 10 am, but Boog and Kiera couldn’t seem to get their naptime schedules coordinated, so we finally set out at 1 pm. I wish I could make plans around my nap times. Actually I wish I had nap times.

I have always enjoyed watching men interacting with their children, but I didn't realize the reverse is also true. As Georgina and I were feeding the prunes to the babies, a man sat at a table facing us. He smiled at the kids and us, laughing at how messy cute they were. He then proceded to ignore me and flirt with Georgina. Being that Georgina is single and I am not, it seemed appropriate, not that he knew that. I got to sit back and enjoy the show, so to speak. However, we knew it wasn't meant to be when he told us that his youngest child is 23 years old. Alas, Georgina continues on her quest for love.

Mike left to go to Lillooet this afternoon to visit his mom, so it is a perfect time for Kiera to get sick, and I mean vomit and diarrhea. You know you're a mother when get vomited and pooped on and it doesn't bother you. I don't think she has the flu, since she doesn't have a fever and other than being tired, hasn't been unusally cranky. I am hoping it is just her system adjusting to new foods. Yesterday we tried Soya Cereal with Pears, and Carrots. Today we tried Prunes. She fell asleep early tonight which means I will be up and down all night with her or that she will be up at 6 am or both. Either way, I am hoping she feels better tomorrow. Poor girl. Daddy will be home Wednesday, and we will be very happy to see him.

"Working on Myself Month"

February is “Working on Myself” Month.

Mike has been working on his resume and on how to describe him self on job interviews. He handed me a paper yesterday with one question: “write down 5 words from your spouse, parent, sibling and/or friend that would describe you in your personal life.” He wanted me to come up with 5 words to describe him. As I did this, I started thinking about what words people might use to describe me. It was easy to come up with negative words, but the point of the exercise was to come up with positive ones. That was much harder. Here are 5 words I came up with. Let me know if I am right.

1. Humorous

2. Intelligent

3. Polite

4. Affectionate

5. Organized

This got me thinking about area’s I would like to improve.

1. Lose weight and be healthier

2. Be more active

a. Not necessarily exercise, just get out and do more things

3. Do more for others

a. Donating more money and items

b. Volunteering

4. Reconnect with Friends

a. Show my friends that I care more

b. Celebrating milestones with friends (i.e. Birthdays, Children, Weddings)

What I now need to do is sit down and set some goals. Any ideas? Your suggestions are always welcome. As I develop goals, I will create a post about the goal and my plan to achieve it.

PS: I want to say to congratulations to Kerri for being a contestant in Kamloops Biggest Loser. I am sure she will do well, and hope she is the "Biggest Loser".

A Baby's Laugh

There is nothing more wonderful to hear than a baby’s laugh. Every time I hear Kiera laugh, I smile, no matter how angry or sad I might be. There is so much genuine joy and happiness in her laugh, and she laughs at the simplest things in life.

“A baby's laugh is like a song,

Sung by a beautiful bird.

A baby's cry is like a storm,

Like the thunder in the sky.

A baby's breath is like a soft wind,

The wind of a cool summers day,
A baby's beauty is like a butterfly,

Fluttering its magnificent wings.

A baby's body grows,
Like a new tree shooting up into the sky.

A baby's like is as fragile as a star,

Shinning forever.

A baby's a wonderful creation “

by ellie price

 

Jedi Master

Babies must train with Yoda before they join us.

“Do or do not... there is no try.”

One day Kiera can’t do something, the very next day she can. It’s just that fast. She can now sit on her own. She can’t get into the sitting position quite yet, but she is trying as hard as she can. Babies and Children have so much to teach us adults.

 

Blogging - Why Do It

On a completely separate topic, I was doing some research into blogging. I am a terrible writer, and not all that creative. I will admit I am a math geek. I would much rather be doing calculations long hand than write anything. However, I also believe it is important to do things outside our comfort zones. It keeps our brains working and keeps us out of trouble.

Anyway, one of the first things the websites say is to know why you are blogging. It got me thinking as to why I am doing this. I am pretty sure that no one is reading this, so it can’t be to become rich and famous. I think it is because of Baby Girl. I have tried to journal in the past, but once I am gone, who will really read those. Now I have someone who one day will be interested in my life, in my thoughts and feelings. A side benefit to this is being able to keep anyone who does happen to read it up to date on what we are doing.

Having said all that, many of the sites also say to have a specific topic. My topic will be me and my life as a 30 something career woman, wife and mother of 1 infant and 1 teenage step daughter. Really though, how crazy can my life get?

I appreciate any comments you may have about what I have to say. Even if it’s just to let me know I am not alone out there. If you are interested in blogging, check out this website: 10 Tips for Personal Bloggers. I found it extremely helpful.

As well, I have a couple of links to the left. "It's a Bartel Life" is my cousin Amanda's blog. She encouraged me to keep plugging away. As well, there is one for "Little Tots, Big Ideas." The author of this blog features the stories from mothers around the world. In fact Amanda will be featured on February 16th. Be sure to check it out. If you would like me to include a link to your website, let me know.

A Mother's Memories

Granny Andrews was given a book call "A Mother's Memories" by my aunt Miriam. She filled in all the sections, added some photos, and gave it back to my aunt in 1999. This is an excerpt from the book.

"In September 1939, Ruth and I visited Victoria and I took lots of pictures, the house where I was born.... We had moved from Victoria while I was too young to remember the move to Capitol Hill in Burnaby where my youngest brother Douglas was born."

Where I Lived

My home in Cranberry was situated on 3 of land on the edge of Cranberry Lake. Most of us quickly learned to swim, although Ruth never did. I don’t remember her ever going in the water. However, she shared with Esther and me in lots of other outdoor activities, exploring the countryside and hiking to other lakes in the area – Powell Lake, Haslam Lake, Stuart Lake, Duck Lake. We didn’t live in a fancy house but it was a very happy home.

My Room

From 10 years old on, I shared a room with my sister Ruth for a couple of years until she went to work for the Milroy Family in Westview and lived with them.

While still in Burquitlam, every weekend, my mom and dad made a trip to New Westminster to so the weekly shopping. There was always anticipation for the special treats they always brought back for us. I had a childhood crush on a boy at school named Captain Powell and I saved a lot of my butterscotch candies to give to him. Before I got around to doing so, his family moved away. I believe it was to the States, so I never heard from him again. I then enjoyed the candy myself.

Struggle with Mental Illness

I want to vent about something I saw on Dr. Phil last week. I was watching an episode about a couple who used a surrogate mother to conceive. After giving birth to twins, she decided to keep the babies. I am not upset about the decision to keep the children, as it would be tough to carry 2 babies then give them up. However, I am upset about one of her reasons for keeping the children.

She stated that one for the reasons she refuses to give them to the intended couple is that the woman has a mental illness. Now, this illness is being controlled by a psychiatrist and medication and has been for 9 years.

Some people know this and some do not, but I have dealt with a mental illness for almost 20 years. It has been controlled off and on by medication for the past 15 years. I suffer from 2 forms of depression – clinical depression (which is your basic depression) and Season Affective Disorder (SAD). What that means, in a nutshell, is this. The sun helps the brain produce serotonin, which is one of the chemicals that regulate emotion, sleep and appetite. My brain doesn’t produce enough generally. In the winter, due to the lack of sunlight, the production drops dramatically causing irritability, difficulty controlling emotions, poor sleep, increased appetite, fatigue and a list of other problems.

What this means for me is that I am exhausted all the time, I lack motivation to do things, I don’t want to leave my house, I am forgetful and lose the ability to concentrate, and most days I don’t want to get out of bed. I end up losing contact with my friends and family and I treat them badly. Some of my friends and family know this and understand, but others don’t so I have lost friendships along the way. I almost lost my job a couple of years ago. Medication helps greatly, as long as I see the signs in the fall. I have also worked with a councillor which has allowed me to reduce my dosage, and hopefully will allow be for be off them completely.

I think the reason that this upsets me so much is that saying that women with a mental illness should not be mothers brings out all the doubts I’ve had for years. I have always wondered if I should bring a child into this world to deal with a mother who will seem withdraw sometimes. When Mike and I struggled to conceive, I thought that we weren’t meant to have a child. I am so scared that I will mess up Kiera’s life, and that she will suffer from the same illnesses I do. I have struggled to be patient with her and myself, to make sure I am up for her and play with her, even when all I want to do is stay in bed. I am making it work. In fact, I think having her to think about is forcing me to get up and be present in my life. I have her to thank for getting me through another winter and she is only 6th months old.

How dare someone say that I cannot be a good mother just because I suffer from a mental illness! It’s because I am a mother that I am able to work on my illness and not let it affect my life.