The Onesie

By reading the title, you might assume that I am writing about baby girl.  I wish it were so.

Here is the story.  On Wednesday, Georgina and I decided to go spend some money.  Well, it was originally for her to go spend some money, and me to help.  We made the trek up to Addition Elle to find Georgina some clothes.  As we pulled up, Georgina got excited - there were Red "50% Off Sale" signs posted in the windows.  Woohoo, we can buy more.

We got out of the truck, went into the store, and started our spree.  We picked out a number of tops and a pair of jeans for Georgina to try.  While she was trying them on, I decided to check out the sale racks.  I pulled out tops left and right, and before you know it, I am in the changing room next to her.  I found 4 tops I really liked.  Unfortunately, two of the tops highlighted my muffin top nicely.  In case you don't know what a muffin top is, it is the roll that forms above your jeans when you are wearing pants that are a little tight in the waist.  Mine is permanent and it's actually more of a loaf of bread.

I digress.  I was going to put them back when I noticed these spandex bodysuit things on sale.  Hmmm, I thought.  That looks like it holds things in.  I grabbed 2 of them, and the tops I wanted.

Today I chose to wear one of the tops that required the bodysuit.  I pulled it out of the bag, and took a closer look at it.  To my surprise, there are snaps at the bottom.  I should have thought about how I was going to get this thing on before I bought it, but I was so mesmerized by the idea of holding the muffin in.

(This is a spanx, not the same but similar)

What the heck, I thought, so I put it on.  I pulled it over my head and tried to pull it down.  Remember, it is design to be tight since it has to hide the rolls.  I wiggled and dance it down into place. 

Next issue, you almost had to be a contortionist to get the snaps done up.  I twist to pull then back flap down, at the same time, I have to reach through my legs to reach it.  After fighting with it for 5 minutes, I finally got the flaps close together.  Now, remember why I am wearing this - I can't see my feet.  So, needless to say, I can't see the snaps.  Now what?  With some pulling and by feel, I did eventually manage to get them done.

Thats when I realized that the top part doesn't offer a lot of support, and the girls are a little squished.  There was no way I was taking the sucker off now.  At least I knew it would really hold the jiggles in.

I have worn it all day now, and it isn't to bad (other than the trips to the ladies room).  I would never have guessed that at 35 years old, I would be wearing a onesie.